Bang with Friends

Friends with benefits, hooking up, no strings attached… it has many names. But now technology is making it even easier, because this app takes all the guessing out of the equation.

If only it could erase the consequences.

If you follow me on Twitter you saw my Tweet about this taboo little social networking phenomenon last week. It’s the ultimate tool for discovering which of your friends are interested in a little meaningless sex.

The tagline is forthright:

“Anonymously find friends who are down for the night.”

The concept is simple. People download the Bang with Friends app, and then it lists your Facebook friends of the opposite sex. Click if you’d like to “bang” them. It’s completely anonymous. No one ever knows… unless they happen to install the app and select you as bangable too… then Bang with Friends connects you together.

Fast Company describes it as, “a nonjudgmental corner of your social, digital life in which you can let your basest impulses run wild.” Apparently the app has already facilitated as many as 100,000 hookups.

How many heartbreaks?

How many STDs?

I guess this app really shouldn’t surprise me. In a world where as many as 87% of men admit to looking at porn in a given year, this is yet another perfect example of people taking one of God’s amazing gifts and twisting it.

Last weekend I talked with a room full of teenagers about sex. I was candid. I told them, “Sex is amazing, God created it to be that way… and I recommend it!” Then I went on to describe God’s special gift that a man and wife can enjoy together. It’s a message teenagers need to hear: sex isn’t naughty.

Unfortunately, apps like Bang with Friends don’t tell the whole story. Bang with Friends is an attempt to enjoy the gift with “no strings attached.” Funny thing… those who do this usually end up living in a world of regret.

Where’s that web site? (I regret banging everything that moved dot com!)

Wouldn’t it be cool if more people were completely honest when they talked about sex? Remember the movie where everyone in the world wasn’t allowed to tell lies? Imagine what Bang with Friends marketing would look like if they had to be authentic:

“Enjoy the temporary pleasure of having sex with one of your friends. There’s no doubt, sex feels great! The thrill can last for anywhere from 3 minutes to a few days, depending on how many times you do it and how long it takes for the two of you to tire of each other. Then you’ll realize how depressing it is to just have sex without the commitment that is so intrinsically connected to the act. You’ll eventually crave something much more and want an actual relationship, but of course, by then you’ll have to approach that relationship with all the guilt and baggage of all these past hookups, you won’t enjoy that relationship as much as you would have, had you remained monogamous.”

About Jonathan McKee

president of The Source for Youth Ministry, is the author of over a dozen books including the new Get Your Teenager Talking, The Guy's Guide to God, Girls and the Phone in Your Pocket, The Zombie Apocalypse Survival Guide for Teenager, and youth ministry books like Ministry By Teenagers, Connect: Real Relationships in a World of Isolation, and the 10-Minute Talks series. Jonathan speaks and trains at conferences, churches and events across North America, all while providing free resources for youth workers and parents on his websites, TheSource4YM.com and TheSource4Parents.com. You can follow Jonathan on his blog, getting a regular dose of youth culture and parenting help. Jonathan and his wife Lori, and their three teenagers Alec, Alyssa and Ashley live in California.
[Are you getting this daily blog in your email inbox?] If not, it's real easy-go here.
This entry was posted in Entertainment Media, Internet, Jonathan's Rant, Sexuality, Social Media, Youth Culture. Bookmark the permalink.

7 Responses to Bang with Friends

  1. Kathie says:

    I have never heard of this before, but as the mom of two teens, I’m glad I now know. I’d like to say this is shocking but in today’s culture, not too much shocks me anymore. My heart breaks for teens looking for love and validation in all the wrong places.

  2. Charlie says:

    Strong title grabs your attention. I like how you talk about sex not being dirty or naughty, but blessed and beautiful in marriage. Maybe this is one of the mistakes we make as a church – teaching how bad sex is rather than how blessed it should be in marriage. So people are constantly craving an adrenaline rush from doing something “bad” rather than the deep need of intimacy that we really need that only comes through Jesus and spiritual intimacy.

    • Thanks Charlie. I appreciate your encouragement. I find that when kids grow up hearing that “sex is naughty” over and over again… they are confused. Everyone is saying yes (like this app) BUT the church. Often this causes them to repress any communication about those feelings, and they act out secretly. Open communication is key!!!

  3. Nate says:

    Thanks Jon! I was aware of the snap chat app but had never heard of this. Pretty crazy! Thanks for helping us be aware, your an encouragement!

  4. mary says:

    I have just signed up to begin the crazy awesome task of attracting a youth group to our small but growing Texas church. I have a 3yo and a 1yo and am very out of touch with today’s teens. Thank you for helping open my eyes to issues they face today. I have a long road ahead of me.

  5. sulav dahal says:

    You are right. It is completely natural to have sex with your friend in this time. But you should be well aware that it can cause you STDs, and other social consequences. I personally feel what if your friend denies your offer, or rather felt exploited with your ‘sex offer’? I got serious doubts about this app.

  6. Kyle says:

    Insane, man. Had no idea this existed. I’m glad I’m not a teenager in this day-and-age. Am I just getting old, or was life so much simpler when I was a kid? AND IM ONLY 31!!!!