Four Facts About Sex We Can’t Hush—FACT 4

This week I’ve shared a lot of “facts” about sex. Facts!

Are facts the best way to communicate to young people today?

Facts are necessary, especially when you’re talking about sex. But nothing beats the power of a personal story.

#4: Share Personal Experience

This week I’ve been blogging about the need to tell our kids the explicit truth about sex:

Now it’s time for the fourth and final “fact” about sex that we just can’t keep to ourselves! Share personal experience. I guess I’m cheating a little bit with this last “fact,” because sometimes sex-education becomes just that—a bunch of facts. When in fact (no pun intended), we need to stop sharing facts and share life experience.

Sometimes we can share facts with our kids until we’re blue in the face. We wonder, is any of this sinking in?

Try sharing a story from your own life.

Yesterday I shared how sex is a process. I asked my 16-year-old daughter to proof that blog for me before I posted it. When I was done I asked her what she thought. She liked it, “especially the example about Anthony getting a kiss from his girlfriend in front of his grandmother.” She told me, “That example answered the question so many of us are wondering; how far can we go.” She continued. “Sure, you said, ‘Don’t event start the process.’ But that story explained it in a way I could understand.”

Good stories bring life to facts.

Some of the most powerful lessons are taught from our own life experiences. I’ve taught on the subject of sex hundreds of times. Some of the most powerful venues were the ones where I had someone come up and share their own story.

A few years ago I taught about sexual purity to a group of junior high girls. After teaching much of what I’ve shared above, I had a mom come up and share her own story. All the girls knew this mom because she was a volunteer leader and led a small group with many of the young girls sitting there. This mom shared a story of the first time she had sex. It was her prom. She was 16-years-old. She liked the guy so much and wanted him to like her. She gave away her virginity that night, only for him to break up with her a few days later.

As she shared this vulnerable tale from her own life, the young girls in this room cried with her, moved by, and for some, even identifying with, her story.

As I looked at the feedback from that evening, they enjoyed my presentation and were able to cite some of the truths I shared, but all the girls unanimously cited this woman’s story as having the most powerful impact that evening.

We all have stories to share.

Our kids need to hear stories of purity and the heartbreak we were spared; they need to hear stories of failure and the consequences we experienced. Don’t be afraid to share these stories and the lessons learned. Often, they will be the most remembered “fact” shared.

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If you liked Jonathan’s candid approach to this subject, you’ll really enjoy his books like, Candid Confessions of an Imperfect Parent, and Connect: Real Relationships in a World of Isolation. Right now you can get FREE U.S. shipping on these books and others on Jonathan’s Recommended Books page.

About Jonathan McKee

president of The Source for Youth Ministry, is the author of over a dozen books including the new Get Your Teenager Talking, The Guy's Guide to God, Girls and the Phone in Your Pocket, The Zombie Apocalypse Survival Guide for Teenager, and youth ministry books like Ministry By Teenagers, Connect: Real Relationships in a World of Isolation, and the 10-Minute Talks series. Jonathan speaks and trains at conferences, churches and events across North America, all while providing free resources for youth workers and parents on his websites, TheSource4YM.com and TheSource4Parents.com. You can follow Jonathan on his blog, getting a regular dose of youth culture and parenting help. Jonathan and his wife Lori, and their three teenagers Alec, Alyssa and Ashley live in California.
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4 Responses to Four Facts About Sex We Can’t Hush—FACT 4

  1. Tayo Ikpekhia says:

    Am a youth teacher in my local parish and i really enjoyed this blog about sex which I intend to also practice in my teachings. I would really appreciate if you could also talk about homosexualism which has suddenly become prevalent amongst our youth. More often I found out in my locality, that rather than being a preference, it’s more out of financial gains. I would like to read about your views on it in your blog.

  2. Colleen Carberry says:

    Can you recommend a purity study to do with our youth group?

  3. Pingback: Let’s Talk About Sex! « Here and There…

  4. Ali says:

    You are so right!! We have to talk about Sex with our Kids.. If we don’t someone else will!! When I was growing up it wasn’t something to be talked about with parents and that didn’t do my generation any good. I graduated in a glass of 80 with 5 pregnant girls..

    I’ve been talking to the girls in my youth group about modesty and taking dating at an appropriate pace.

    One of the girls on my blog team as embraced this need and has been sharing several blogs on this very topic!

    http://tayaradio.com/blog/index.php/living-for-christ/we-cannot-say-no-alone/#more-263