My 13-year-old's Perspective on Selena & Self-Esteem

My 13-year-old Ashley asked me this morning, “Dad, have you seen Selena Gomez’ music video for Who Says?”

I told her that I’d noticed the video in the Top 10 on iTunes, but never had taken time to watch it. Ashley told me, “Dad… it’s got a great message for young girls about self esteem!”

Ashley loves music and is always talking with me about the songs on the charts. (Many have already seen the video we just posted on our YouTube page of Ashley sharing her perspective to you about how parents can help set media guidelines for music in your house). So I took her advice and watched the Selena Gomez video. I was impressed with what Ashley saw, so I asked her, “Why don’t you write down your thoughts for my blog subscribers.”

Ashley did just that. Here’s her unedited “2 cents” about what young girls are learning from Selena Gomez’ video Who Says:

I usually don’t listen to Selena Gomez and don’t really have a lot of her songs on my iPod. But the other day i was on iTunes and i saw her newest album was out. So I clicked on it and saw one of her newer songs. It’s called “Who Says.” I decided to watch the video for it, cause i heard one of my friends at school say that this song was amazing and she loved it so much. I was very surprised when i finished it! This song is a message from Selena to all the insecure girls out there, saying to not worry because we are all beautiful inside and out.

Here are some of the lyrics:

I’m no beauty queen
I’m just beautiful me…

[Chorus]

Who says
Who says you’re not perfect
Who says you’re not worth it
Who says you’re the only one that’s hurting
Trust me
That’s the price of beauty

This song really stuck out to me after I listened to it. And what was even better was the video. It starts showing Selena at a photo shoot all dressed up and wearing really pretty make up. But then she leaves the shoot and walks around the city, the whole time signs in the city are spelling words like “beautiful.” Then, at the end of the video, Selena walks into a bathroom, changes out of her dress into shorts and a shirt, removes her make up, and walks out on the beach with her friends.

I will admit, I didn’t have high expectations for this song and video. But after watching the video and seeing how she wasn’t afraid to take off her make up and be real, my opinion changed. Its like a voice inside of me said “Why don’t you do that ever Ashley?”  I think that its really cool that Selena isn’t afraid to do that (take off her make up). I mean, we always hear about actresses and singers saying for us to not be insecure and stuff, but they never really do anything about it themselves. Seeing Selena do this was awesome!

This song and video really changed the way i think about myself, and it definitely inspired me to be true to myself and not be scared to be me.

I’m really glad that Selena had the guts to do that, and i applaud her for it.

About Jonathan McKee

president of The Source for Youth Ministry, is the author of over twenty books including the brand new If I Had a Parenting Do Over, 52 Ways to Connect with Your Smartphone Obsessed Kid; Sex Matters; The Amazon Best Seller - The Guy's Guide to God, Girls and the Phone in Your Pocket; and youth ministry books like Ministry By Teenagers; Connect; and the 10-Minute Talks series. He has over 20 years youth ministry experience and speaks to parents and leaders worldwide, all while providing free resources for youth workers and parents on his websites, TheSource4YM.com and TheSource4Parents.com. You can follow Jonathan on his blog, getting a regular dose of youth culture and parenting help. Jonathan, his wife Lori, and their three kids live in California.
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2 Responses to My 13-year-old's Perspective on Selena & Self-Esteem

  1. Madison Osborn says:

    I love this bog! I really wish my sister would be like selena in this instant. My sister always says she looks like crap when really she is a beautiful young woman! She will nvr go anywhere with out her makeup and hair done! In fact tonight she was asking my parents go through the drive through at taco bell because she said she wasnt dressed for public eyes! She had been wearing a sundress down to her knees that was very sute! had her hair straightened and in a ponytail. She had also evcen been wearing some makeup but some of it had worn off I always tell her tht she looks the same with or with out makeup but she says yeah like crap! but really she is beautiful! she has almost completely clear skin!!! she really seems insecure but im not sure i think it may just be the pressure of high school or something… i really want her to see her real beauty…

  2. Hannah says:

    It’s a good song and I definatly agree with what Ashlee is saying, it’s great the stars are finally encouraging us girls to like ourselves.
    But the thing is, she’s saying it doesn’t matter how you look, yet she is skinny, has make up on (I’m pretty sure even in the beach scene)etc. It’s easy for her to say your beautful just the way you are, she’s got it all. If the singer was a slightly overweight person with unclear skin I think the song would hold alot more weight for me. The whole time I was watching it, I was honestly wondering how the hell can I be that skinny.