Top 10 Signs You’re Turning 40

So Thursday was my 40th birthday. Funny… I don’t feel older today.

Although if I’m honest, my body has been telling me, “Hey Jonathan! You’re 40!” for the last year. I’ve gotten more running injuries in the last year- my back, my hip… heck, just the other day I was running and my ankle started hurting. I don’t even know what happened. It just hurts. Why? Does it know that I’m 40?

My 40-year-old body aside, I had a great b-day! I threw a little contest on the blog and by 6:49 a.m. Pacific time, all 15 prizes were awarded. Wow… those of us on the West Coast have to be early risers to get the worm! Thanks to all those who participated. Over 30 people got the answer by the time I posted the winners.

I’ve traveled quite a bit out of town lately and earned some comp days, so I took my birthday off. My wife Lori and I hung out, went out for a nice Jonathan-inspired dinner (pizza and wings… they were awesome!), and then when the kids were asleep, we laid around on the couch eating German-chocolate cake (my choice as well) and watching TV.

Good day.

Lori is so amazing!

I was clicking through my blog and saw that last year I was ranting about being 39. Ha! In that blog I linked the EZINE that I sent out to our subscribers in March of 2000 when I was turning 30. Funny… back then I thought that 30 was old!  :)  Anyway… in that newsletter I shared the Top 10 Signs That You’re Turning 30. Hmmmm. I remember 10 years ago. I had a 2, 4 and 6-year-old. Wow… that seems like a LONG time ago. My Top 10 list would look a little different now. No more diapers and Little Tykes playground structures.

Yes, my list might not look like everyone’s list… I got married at 20 and had my first kid at 23. Because of our “lifestage,” most of our friends are 5 years older than us. So my Top 10 Signs I’m Turning 40 is pretty personal to me… but here goes…

THE TOP 10 SIGNS I’M TURNING 40!

10. I exercise more, eat less, weigh more… and care about it less!

9. I don’t lean over and pick something up unless it’s really important. Leaning over or squatting down takes an overwhelming amount of energy at age 40. I am constantly calculating “risk vs. reward.” A pencil? Nope. The dog can just chew it. A $20 bill? Maybe.

8. My bills, my hairline and my cholesterol count are all way higher.

7. My tolerance for teenage attitude… way lower!

6. I now get up twice every night to go to the bathroom… up from once a night, starting at age 30. At this rate I’m just going to save time by sleeping on the toilet at age 60!

5. My car insurance just tripled because I’ve got a 16-year-old boy with a license. Isn’t there someone cheaper I can insure… like a crop-duster?

4. I don’t want to go to my annual physical anymore because my doctor warned me that at 40 he was going to begin checking something else. (He patted a box of rubber gloves and smiled when he told me that!)

3. Whenever I get a new cell phone, I just give it to my kids to set it up for me (Now when my wife calls, Darth Vader’s theme music plays)

2. I eat several different cereals, but they all have the word “Fiber” in the title.

1. Two words: Large Print.

Wow, I sound like a decrepit old man!

Sigh… life at 40.

About Jonathan McKee

president of The Source for Youth Ministry, is the author of over a dozen books including the new Get Your Teenager Talking, The Guy's Guide to God, Girls and the Phone in Your Pocket, The Zombie Apocalypse Survival Guide for Teenager, and youth ministry books like Ministry By Teenagers, Connect: Real Relationships in a World of Isolation, and the 10-Minute Talks series. Jonathan speaks and trains at conferences, churches and events across North America, all while providing free resources for youth workers and parents on his websites, TheSource4YM.com and TheSource4Parents.com. You can follow Jonathan on his blog, getting a regular dose of youth culture and parenting help. Jonathan and his wife Lori, and their three teenagers Alec, Alyssa and Ashley live in California.
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12 Responses to Top 10 Signs You’re Turning 40

  1. Adam says:

    Yeah dude, I’m not gonna lie, that sounds pretty rough. Maybe next year your kids will get you a cane!

  2. Dave says:

    This is scary! I feel like I’m looking 9 years into my future. I got married at age 20 and had my first child at age 23 too. I also started to experience the getting up 1x a night to use the bathroom last year when I turned 30.

  3. Roger says:

    Can’t say it gets any better. I turned 50 two years ago. Below is what it may be like if you experience what i’ve experienced so far. :)

    THE TOP 10 SIGNS I’M TURNING 50!

    10. I exercise more, eat less, weigh more… and care about it less! (actually, i am running 6 miles a day 4-5 days/week and still have not lost much weight) sigh!

    9. I don’t lean over and pick something up unless it’s really important. Leaning over or squatting down takes an overwhelming amount of energy at age 40. I am constantly calculating “risk vs. reward.” A pencil? Nope. The dog can just chew it. A $20 bill? Maybe. SAME

    8. My bills, my hairline and my cholesterol count are all way higher. (DITTO)

    7. My tolerance for teenage attitude… way lower! (THIS HAS REALLY BUMMED ME RECENTLY TOO AND FORGET LOCK-INS)

    6. I now get up twice every night to go to the bathroom… up from once a night, starting at age 30. At this rate I’m just going to save time by sleeping on the toilet at age 60! (YUP)

    5. My car insurance just tripled because I’ve got a 16-year-old boy with a license. Isn’t there someone cheaper I can insure… like a crop-duster? (JUST MY WIFE AND I NOW SO THIS ONE GETS WAY BETTER AS YOU GET OLDER)

    4. I don’t want to go to my annual physical anymore because my doctor warned me that at 40 he was going to begin checking something else. (He patted a box of rubber gloves and smiled when he told me that!) (BEEN THERE DONE THAT AND MORE TO COME AT 50…THINK COLONOSCOPY)

    3. Whenever I get a new cell phone, I just give it to my kids to set it up for me (Now when my wife calls, Darth Vader’s theme music plays) (CELL PHONES, LAPTOPS, DVR, DVD, ETC, ETC, ETC)

    2. I eat several different cereals, but they all have the word “Fiber” in the title. (SORRY, I STILL EAT DONUTS AND COOKIES WHEN I CAN)

    1. Two words: Large Print. (TWO MORE WORDS BI-FOCALS)

    Happy Birthday Jonathan!

  4. Oh man… Roger… you’ve given me something to look forward to!!! :)

  5. nathean says:

    ouch!! i’m just 16 months away from all those joys and i’m looking forward to it……………………………….NOT!!

  6. Glenda says:

    I turned 40 in Sept and I agree with #10. I can’t see anything. I’ve always had bad vision but now I can’t read anything small. At Target, you can buy cheap reading glasses for $1 and I have about 10 pairs. I have them in my car, at work, in my church bag, at home, everywhere! Another sign I’d like to add is, I can’t drink a Mt Dew past 5PM anymore. Now I’m up all night.

  7. Lisa says:

    Just what I was looking for as I approach 38 years old .. I typed into google .. “at what age does your eyes begin to get bad” and the whole having to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night ???? I was buying pregnancy tests left and right because that only happened when i was pregnant .. Thank you for the laughs ! Hilarious

  8. Tammy says:

    I am turning 40 in 7 weeks.My husband has turned40 in November of last year.
    I am horrified by 40 and I want to assure you guys it is worse for us women! Here’s my 10 list… #10-Everyone calls you MAM
    #9- your teenage daughter is asked if your youngest child is theirs
    #8- you are more worried about the wrinkles on your face, hen the wrinkleson your clothes!
    #6- You buy hair color in bulk to cover them grays like clockwork every 6 weeks.
    #5-You actually concider wearing a 1 piece swimsuit.
    #4-You buy a 200,000 btu ac unit because you KNOW what comming soon!

    #3-You know your in your sexual prime,but you realize that God has a sense of humor and your husband has passed his 20 years ago.
    #2-The thougth of being a “cougar” has actually crossed your mind, more than once.
    #1 Your “girls’ are headed south and you buy a bra that isn’t too hot to look at,but your neck doesn’t hurt after an hour of being online!

    Great now I am depressed

  9. Scott M says:

    Gentlemen, gentlemen!!! Please… dont let Madison Ave do this to you! There is a massively prevalent stereotype in the media of the self-deprecating, flaccid, useless, fat, balding, middle age male. (consider… the wife says ‘wow – for ONCE HE WAS RIGHT’ – or perhaps ‘call The Geek Squad so they can come and do it for you’, obviously so you dont screw it up). We’re not a bunch of inept and indistinguishable George Constanzas! I share this with you guys because I truly give a damn about living and my fellow man. You guys are more capable, intelligent, and have never been in a better position. Go down fighting! (with your mind, of course.) Fight the good fight – #11)conform to no stereotype. #10)Ask for a teaspoon and a mountain to be moved.

    I just turned 40 on 12/17. #9)I have never been more capable of learning, doing, or more interested in art, literature, and science. #8)I have never been in better shape. #7)I eat what I want-which even includes those veggies I wouldnt have touched as a dumb kid. #6)I sleep when I want, where I want. #5)I go ahead and buy the occasional designer ‘whatever’ IF I want (but mind you – materialism is a weakness, treat it as such). #4)Plan trips to obscure places I wouldn’t have dreamed were possible when I was 20. #3)Ive got a black book an inch thick – which is not to say im promiscuous – quite the opposite. Im truly searching for the right woman. #2)Im just finally not SHY anymore. And #1) Im certain for the first time in my life, Im going to find her or she is going to find me.

    God Bless! And all the best to you for 2011.

  10. Maggie says:

    LOL about ‘risk vs. reward’ …what I love are those times you turn quickly to look at something and a strange shooting pain goes up your back! Seriously?

    I just turned 40 and my insurance went up $100 month! And I visit the Dr. like once a year…oh well what can we do? Thanks for sharing!!

  11. Harry says:

    40 in 6 months and feel no worse nor better than I did when I was twenty – I can’t actually remember my 20th birthday, but remember my 21st and am in a much better place now than I was ever then. I feel vibrant, alive and like I’m just starting to live. I feel like at last I’m getting where I want. I sleep through the night, can exercise as much as I want, have a successful career, a partner I love and a new home I’m looking forward to moving into. Life is what you make it and you can accept what you’ve got or decide to mix it up a bit. I believe mixing it up works!

    Harry P

  12. matt says:

    Thanks for the post. Turning 40 soon myself. Was the life of the party in college then I got busy with my career and time just flew by. At 36 I sort of had a crisis in that it bothered me I lost my youthful appearance and demeanor. I started to run with a younger crowd but that in some ways made it worse as I was the elder. But thats past. Now I embrace the fact I am middle aged and am enjoying myself throughly. The internet and 1000 tv channels put youth all over the place. In my parents generation 40 something men and women were in their prime.

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