When I met my wife 20 years ago, we were both 19 and had been living life for ourselves. A lot of consequences result from this kind of living, and the two of us faced the fallout of some of those consequences together even as we got involved in our church, grew closer to God, and to each other.
Just before we met, Lori had been dating a guy who was… how can I say it? … a “playa.” Reflecting on this relationship, Lori always shares, “How could I have been so stupid? I knew he was going to be with other girls from the start of the relationship, but I somehow convinced myself that he wouldn’t do that to me. But he did, over and over again.”
Painful memories for Lori. Maybe that’s why the #1 hit on the music charts today, Break Your Heart, irritates her so much.
“The song is trying to justify this kind of playa lifestyle,” she implores. Lori, a mom of 12 and 14-year-old girls, also mentors a small group of junior high girls at our church. “It’s the kind of lie that today’s young girls are buying.
This candid new song, Break Your Heart, is by Taio Cruz. He’d probably just argue that he’s “keeping it real.” Because he and rapper Ludacris make their intentions clear throughout the song. “I’m going to hurt you.” “I’ve got a problem with misbehavin.”
Oh… well then I guess it’s okay then. As long as he admits it up front, right?
(I just spent a little bit of time talking about Ludacris and his typical content in the latter half of my blog about Britney fans last week. Grown ups are even embracing artists like Luda.)
David R. Smith does an incredible job at unpacking this song in this week’s Youth Culture Window article, Low Expectations for Love. In the article, he not only provides us with information about the song and the artist, he also shares some concern about the impact on our girls’ self esteem. He wraps up the article by providing some questions that we can ask our teeenagers about this song, or more importantly, this mindset. I encourage you to read that article.
Yesterday my son Alec (16) was talking with me about girls at his school. He and a few friends were sharing how quick and easy girls are to provide sexual favors to guys today. Girls are growing up in a world that not only convinces them that they need to dress like a hootchie, but that they need to be sexual objects. Now songs like Break Your Heart seem to be conveying, “Some guys are like this… and that’s okay.”
With today’s “hookup” mentality, this probably isn’t a big deal. Hooking up basically means “being sexually active for fun, with no strings attached.” Perhaps Cruz and Ludacris think that today’s “Hookup” generation won’t feel any guilt or regret when they’re treated like an object.
If they only knew how many tears were shed the day after.
What messages are your kids hearing from songs like this?