Today I turn 39… my last year as a “young man!”
That’s right. I have one year left of claiming that I’m “thirty-something.” Then, when I’m filling out applications and they ask me to choose my age bracket… it will look like this:
Don’t worry… I’m really not thinking this way. I actually love it exactly where I am in life right now. All three of my kids are still at home (two in middle school, one in high school), my wife and I- our relationship has never been better… no complaints.
It’s funny. I was browsing my web site and found the e-ZINE I wrote 9 years ago (wow…that’s a lot of EZINE’s we’ve sent out between then and now) … the week I was turning 30. I wrote it as a 29 year old. I included a top 10 list that really isn’t about turning 30; it’s about being born in 1970.
Listen to this rant:
I sit today and write to you all as a 29 year old. But next week . . . I will be 30. So for just this once, allow me to vent!
Next week, I will be regarded as “the old guy” to all teenagers and I will soon graduate to “the old fat guy,” finally reaching my pinnacle as “the old fat bald guy!” My life as the “the young guy” is gone quicker than “New Coke.” (what ever happened to that stuff?). Next thing you know I’ll fall and break my hip and start spending all my miscellaneous cash on Rogaine and Preparation H. The signs of the times are here . . . I’m turning 30 . . . I’ve seen it coming for a while:
Top 10 Signs That You’re Turning 30
10. You’re still bummed when Tuesday nights roll around because they cancelled the A-TEAM.
9. You feel like Jeff Goldblum in The Fly because of the amount of hair growing out of your ears!
8. You find yourself watching Adam Sandler movies just for the soundtrack.
7. McDonalds is no longer good- it’s SIN! It looks good before you partake of it, but after you indulge, it hurts you deep within.
6. The youth you work with don’t understand why you peg your 501s
5. Your spouse regularly asks you when you’re going to start exercising and if you’re really going to put that much mayonnaise on your burger!
4. You’re embarrassed if anyone sees your 501s because your waist size is now bigger than your length
3. You just bought stock in Diet Coke
2. Your parents just gave you a subscription to Modern Maturity
1. You wake up every night by at least 5:30 AM to pee because you can’t make it through the night any more.
There! It’s all out of my system. I’m actually going out this weekend with my best friends and our wives. Then we will indulge in my wife’s incredible cheesecake that she makes for me once a year- I’ll save you a piece!
Ooooooh! I remember that cheesecake! That was good. This year I get banana cream pie! MMMMMmmmmmmm!