52 Ways to Connect

The book, the workshop… it’s happening.

Last night I taught my brand new parent workshop, Connect with Your Smartphone Obsessed Kid, for the second time. I’m excited with the feedback I’m hearing so far! And speaking of feedback…

My publisher just sent the final cover of the book, 52 Ways to Connect with Your Smartphone Obsessed Kid, to the printer. I really like the way it turned out (with Shaunti’s kind words on the front)…

McKee-new-book-52-Ways-to-Connect

Humbled to see what people have been saying so far about the book. They’ve already posted over a dozen reviews of this book on Amazon HERE (and if you’d like to do me a favor, go ahead and click on the PRE-ORDER button while you’re there…that tells Amazon this book is going to be a winner and boosts publicity. And NOTE: Nobody know it yet, but the Kindle is actually releasing a week or two earlier than the street date for the printed book).

This is a really fun topic, in a world where “over-connected” parents are having a difficult time connecting with “over-connected kids.” This book and workshop helps parents and kids maximize opportunities to truly connect and engage in meaningful conversation.

WANT TO BRING THE SEMINAR TO YOUR CITY?

Posted in Books, Entertainment Media, Family, Parenting, Smartphones/Cell Phones, Social Media, Speaking/Training | 1 Comment

Parenting Do Over

parenting regrets“Here’s something I would definitely do differently…”

NOTE: Some great comments in this blog post. Clearly one of those posts where the true treasure is in the comments. See bottom of this post for book winners.

This question is for parents or grandparents who’ve been at it for a while (you’ve got kids tweens or older). Here’s the question:

If you could go back and change one thing about your parenting… what would you do differently?

I’m writing a parenting book about the 7 vital changes I’d make parenting if I had a do over. Let’s face it. Hindsight is often 20/20. I’m packing the book with wisdom and insight from numerous parents and grandparents who also look back introspectively and think, “Here’s something I would definitely do differently.”

Anything come to mind?

BOOK WINNERS:

Danielle Aragon

Rick Nier

Penny Hansen

Don Erehart

Shannon Michele Harrell

Posted in Books, Parenting | 48 Comments

The Limp Truth about Porn

Time Magazine porn coverThe most recent cover of Time Magazine had just one caption:

“Why young men who grew up with Internet porn are becoming advocates for turning it off.”

The cover article was titled, Porn and the Threat to Virility (subscription required). The point was simple. Young men who regularly visit porn, are struggling to perform sexually in real life.

The research is fairly new… at least since high speed Internet has become commonplace. I cited similar studies in my chapters on porn in More Than Just the Talk (for parents) and Sex Matters (for young people). Guys are spending more time watching porn than ever before because it’s more readily available. The more they watch, the more the “same ol’ thing” just isn’t stimulating. So they pursue more extreme material. Pretty soon, this porn addict is used to piles of perfect looking women doing everything imaginable… and their real life sex partner isn’t enough to get the blood flowing… literally.

Many experts are calling it an addiction. Philip Zimbardo, emeritus professor of psychology at Stanford University says, “Porn embeds you in what I call present hedonistic time zone. You seek pleasure and novelty and live for the moment.” He explains that while porn isn’t chemically addictive, it has the same effect on behavior as a drug addiction does: some people stop doing much else in favor of pursuing it.

Sadly, this addiction has consequences. The more they watch… the more difficult it is to perform sexually in real life.

The Time article cited some notable studies revealing correlation between regular porn exposure and ED (erectile dysfunction). As porn is becoming more prominent, more men are experiencing ED:

  • One independent web-tracking co. tracked 58 million monthly U.S. visitors to adult sites in Feb. 2006
  • In 2015, just 10 years later, the number was up to 107 million.
  • A study in the Journal of Sex Research puts first exposure for boys at on average 12 years old.
  • In 1992 only about 5% of men experience ED at age 40 (according to the U.S. National Institutes of Health—NIH).
  • A study in July 2013 by Journal of Sexual Medicine discovered that 26% of men seeking help for ED were under 40.
  • In 2014 a study of US military personnel younger than 40 found that 1/3 were reporting ED.
  • A 2012 study out of Switzerland found the condition among 1/3 of men between the ages of 18 to 25.

In short: more young men can’t get it up now.

Why? Fast food? Country Music? The Kardashions? (Okay… maybe that last one isn’t too far off.)

The article interviews the founder of Internet sites like NoFap.com and Reboot Nation, helping men struggling with sexual dysfunction. NoFap has 200,000 members and draws a million visitors each month. Reboot Nation provides advice and support for young people who believe they’re addicted to pornography, have sexual dysfunctions and want to quit.

“The reason I quit porn was to have more sex,” says Gabe Deem, 28-year-old founder of Reboot Nation.

One online commenter on these sites said, “I just want to enjoy sex again and feel the desire for another person.”

The other prominent problem with porn is how degrading it is to women and how it normalizes sexual violence. Time backs up that latter fact with shocking numbers:

“In a study of behaviors in popular porn, nearly 90% of 304 random scenes contained physical aggression toward women, who nearly always responded neutrally or with pleasure. More insidiously, women would sometimes beg their partners to stop, then acquiesce and begin to enjoy the activity, regardless of how painful or debasing.”

Let that sink in for a moment. What is this teaching young men?

“I know she wants it!”

Does she?

Martin Daubney in his article, Porn is boring and mentally damaging. No wonder we’re turned off, reveals that girls are stressed out by porn because their partners expect perfection. As a result, they aren’t enjoying sex. Females tell him, “I think he wants porn sex, which I don’t particularly enjoy, but I go along with it.”

The question is… how many young people are really hearing this information?

How many teenagers have picked up that Time magazine article or books like Sex Matters and asked, “Is this true?”

Barna’s new study on porn reveals a growth in moral ambiguity about porn. Only half of adults and a third of teens think porn is wrong. Most are neutral, accepting or even encouraging it. They don’t see the long-term effect.

Isn’t that just like us?

The quick thrill wins over what we know is good for us in the long run.

Reboot Nation’s Gabe Deem wrapped up my thoughts on the matter well:

“I would tell my son, I’ll be straight up with you, all superstimulating things, like Internet porn, junk food and drugs, can be fun and pleasurable, temporarily. However, they also have the potential to desensitize you to normal, natural things and ultimately rob you of the one thing you thought they would give you, the ability to experience pleasure.”

MORE ON THIS SUBJECT:

Jonathan’s youth ministry SEX TALK

Jonathan’s book about sex to PARENTS

Jonathan’s book about sex to YOUNG PEOPLE

Posted in Parenting, Sexuality | 2 Comments

Netflix Binging

girl_watchingphone-DP.comAnd how we can use Netflix to connect with our kids

It’s funny how the proliferation of mobile devices is actually changing the way young people watch entertainment. One of the biggest changes is video streaming.

Think about it. At the turn of the Millennium, had you ever even heard the word “Netflix”? It wasn’t until 2001 when the company’s name began gaining recognition because Best Buy gave them exposure. You, like me, might remember them in the early 2000’s as a unique way to “rent movies” through the mail. Then come 2007 they began their video streaming services…

…and entertainment changed.

Now if you walk through a college dorm and see a Continue reading “Netflix Binging” »

Posted in Entertainment Media, Internet, Movies, Parenting, Smartphones/Cell Phones, TV, Youth Culture | Leave a comment

Helping Today’s Parents

girl-dad-fightMy 3 Favorite Places to Get Real-World Help for Parents

Parenting was difficult for my parents, and I wasn’t even begging them for a Smartphone! Now add technology into the mix… how are today’s parents even supposed to handle the following situations (true circumstances parents ask me about constantly):

  • My daughter just sits and watches Netflix all afternoon… and honestly… I don’t even know what she’s watching.
  • My 11-year-old son plays X-box with his headset on talking with who knows. Should I know who he’s talking to?
  • My teenagers’ favorite app is Continue reading “Helping Today’s Parents” »
Posted in Entertainment Media, Parenting, Sexuality, Smartphones/Cell Phones, Social Media | Leave a comment

Free Ministry-Leaders Training in NorCal

New-Breed-Wkshop-LOGO webRecruiting volunteers ain’t like it used to be. Volunteers have changed. Have you changed too?

I love ministry leaders.. and ministry leaders love FREE. So Saturday, April 9th I’m teaching a free training workshop in Northern California for any ministry leaders who recruit volunteers! (Thanks Youth for Christ for hosting this!)

The training is based off my two Group books on the subject (The Skinny, and The New Breed), equipping ministry leaders to Continue reading “Free Ministry-Leaders Training in NorCal” »

Posted in Speaking/Training, Youth Ministry Planning | Leave a comment

3 Tips Speaking to Kids… Who Don’t Want to Listen

Jonathan-AssemblyA few months ago a youth worker from El Paso, TX called me up and asked, “Do you want to speak at school assemblies for a week in Texas?”

If I would have answered him honestly, I would have responded, “No way!”

Why? Because who would be stupid enough to get up in front of a bunch of kids who don’t want to hear a speaker… and try to speak to them?

I guess I’m that stupid. That’s why in this post I’m going to give you 3 tips I’ve learned along the way that have helped me when speaking to kids in difficult venues Continue reading “3 Tips Speaking to Kids… Who Don’t Want to Listen” »

Posted in Evangelism, Speaking/Training | Leave a comment

Top 30 Youth Ministry Blogs

Top-30-YM-Blogs-300x300This month YouthMinistry.com posted the Top 30 Youth Ministry blogs and thanks to readers like you, we made the list… twice!

They listed THE SOURCE FOR YOUTH MINISTRY in slot No. 5, and then my personal blog JonathanMcKeeWrites.com in slot No. 12.

Take a peek at the whole list Continue reading “Top 30 Youth Ministry Blogs” »

Posted in Personal, Youth Ministry Philosophy, Youth Ministry Planning | Leave a comment

I’m On Your Radio Today

Jonathan-McKee-interviewThis week I’ll be interviewed by Dennis Rainey and Bob Lepine on Family Life Today, aired on over 1400 radio stations in the US.

I’ll be their guest three days in a row starting today- March 16, 17 and 18, talking with Dennis and Bob about engaging our kids in meaningful conversations about SEX. The two of them discuss my new book to parents, More Than Just the Talk.

Spread the word to parents in your area so they can hear the show live, or jump HERE on the Family Life website and you can listen to it online Continue reading “I’m On Your Radio Today” »

Posted in Books, Parenting, Sexuality, Smartphones/Cell Phones | Leave a comment

Do Carl’s Jr.’s Sexy Ads Sell?

memphis-bbq-Carls JrDoes sex sell?

Carl’s Jr./Hardee’s is known for their over-the-top sexy ads. From Paris Hilton sensually washing a Bentley while eating a burger, to two girls getting in a scuffle at the BBQ grill and seductively intertwining to eat the Memphis BBQ burger.

The question is… do these ads actually sell burgers?
Continue reading “Do Carl’s Jr.’s Sexy Ads Sell?” »

Posted in Jonathan's Rant, Parenting, Self Image, Sexuality, TV | Leave a comment